The lowdown on lust
If you've lost that
frisky feeling, you're not alone. Research shows that nearly a third of women
and 15% of men lack the desire to have sex regularly. But there are things you
can do to put the sizzle back into your sex life. Jumpstart your libido with
these expert-approved lifestyle changes.
Plan more date nights
If a fun Saturday
night with your hubby means watching Showtime in sweatpants, it could be
killing your sex drive. Rekindle your romance by getting out of the house for
an old-fashioned date. Your dates don't need to be grand romantic evenings;
just going to the movies or out to dinner can reignite the spark you felt when
you first met. "If it's too expensive to hire a nanny, ask your friends
with kids to watch yours for the night and offer to return the favor,"
says Leah Millheiser, MD, director of the Female Sexual Medicine Program at
Stanford Hospital & Clinics. Chances are, they'll need a night out at some
point too!
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Pop a different birth control pill
Hormonal changes
take a big toll on your sex drive. Birth control pills can be one of the
biggest perpetrators: they can reduce your body's production of testosterone,
and in turn, your desire to get down. Certain varieties may even cause pain
during sex.
And even if you're
not on birth control, being aware of your hormonal status can help you dial in
your libido. Prolactin, the nursing hormone, decreases estrogen and
testosterone in breastfeeding women, which can wreak hormonal havoc.
Additionally, Dr. Millheiser warns that menopause can bring a decrease in
testosterone and estradiol, a type of estrogen.
Divide household chores equally
After a long day of
work, you may head home for your other full-time job: being a parent.
"After the kids go to bed, there's often cleanup followed by work that
you've brought home," says Dr. Millheiser. "As a result, intimacy
gets pushed to the background." If you and your partner are both working
full-time, keeping the division of household labor equal and ensuring one
partner doesn't shoulder the whole burden will make both of you happier in the
bedroom and out.
Set your room up for romance
It's easy to get in
the habit of letting your kids crawl into bed with you after they've had a bad
dream, or sharing cuddle time with your cat or dog. These are major mood
killers, says Dr. Millheiser, who suggests keeping the kiddos and pets out by
simply locking the bedroom door at night. It may take some time to break these
habits, but making the bed sexy again will make you more relaxed and ready for
romance.
Add sex to your to-dos
We schedule doctor's
appointments, work meetings, and drinks with friends—so why not sex? It's not
the most romantic approach, but setting aside a specific time with your
significant other means you're making a commitment to having an active sex life.
This way, you'll feel compelled to keep the appointment and be less likely to
make excuses.
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